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A transgender, queer man who gave birth to a healthy boy last year says he feels isolated among the LGBTQ+ community, wondering, “Where do I fit?,” according to a report.
“Every time I walk into a room, I feel alone,” Ja’Mel Ware said during a workshop attended by nonprofit news site The 19th.
Ware, from Atlanta, gave birth to his child in May 2022. But he said he has struggled to fit into the LGBTQ+ community as a new father who is also transgender.
“It’s like, where do I fit? Because a lot of trans men don’t want to be open about their queerness,” he said while fighting back tears, according to the report.
He was among a group of eight transgender black men who spoke to The 19th during a Human Rights Campaign Foundation workshop about their experiences in the transgender and LGBTQ+ communities.
The group singled out gay cisgender men for being problematic, saying their experience was that they often didn’t stand up for them despite also being part of the LGBTQ+ community.
One member of the group, Alex Santiago, said he felt more scrutinized within queer spaces, with men no longer calling him “bro” after finding out he is trans.
“That’s a weird space to be in, but it happens more often than not,” he told The 19th.
Another member of the group, C.J. Moseley, echoed Santiago’s thoughts, while a third, D’Jamel Young, said they were often perceived as “too masculine to be queer.”
Meanwhile, Ware can be seen in Instagram photos smiling brightly alongside his partner, Alphonso Mills, at their baby shower, and holding their child, now a toddler.
Ware was featured last year in an AJ+ report about his experiences as a pregnant male living and giving birth in Atlanta.
He transitioned from female to male at 22 and said he grappled with his identity during his pregnancy, especially living in Georgia.
“It made me question my identity. How does the world now see me? How will they see me? Will they understand who I am?” he told the outlet. “Pregnant women are celebrated. Trans people are not.”
“And to be a pregnant trans man just made me feel vulnerable in the world.”
On his webite, Ware describes himself as an “actor, entrepreneur, public speaker, advocate, and educator,” who started traveling the nation at the age of 7 and was orphaned at 15.
Ware says he centers himself through his faith in God and credits his successes in life to following his motto: “Live Life Whole. Be your complete self, and live life fully.”
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